Today the drama continues . . .

The hospital wants Ameri to be moved along and Ameri knows that she is in a safe place. She has no choice but to comply when she is locked away. When she is home, her impulses take over and she can go out the door as she chooses. We have no control except to lock her out. Tough love is not an easy proposition for either side.

I am reminded of a Fleetwood Mac song that addresses the ways of love and relationships no matter if they are of eros or familial.

It goes:

The Chain

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise

Run in the shadows
Damn your love, damn your lies

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain
And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night

Run in the shadows
Damn your love, damn your lies

Break the silence
Damn the dark, damn the light

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain
And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain
And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying you would never break the chain

Chain...keeps us together
(run into the shadows)
Chain...keeps us together
(run into the shadows)
Chain...keeps us together
(run into the shadows)

The Chain Lyrics
Artist(Band):Fleetwood Mac

Written by Lindsey Buckingham, Stevie Nicks,
Mick Fleetwood, Christine McVie, and John McVie

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/The-Chain-lyrics-Fleetwood-Mac/3C8D9CF420A1CCFA4825696500143B58.

Ameri Still in a Swirl

Since my last post Ameri has had a hospital stay, was released, came home, took a shower, order a pizza, called a cab and disappeared for five days. She called on occasion. She was not in good circumstances but she was not too concerned. She eventually called law enforcement and her circumstances and condition warranted returning to a hospital. She was in a hospital and sedated for two days before we knew where she was. She was transferred under sedation to a more distant hospital. She finally gave us a call to say where she was. The nursing and treatment staff are of course, outstanding. We have been in two very good family sessions but to no avail. Ameri's is willing to cooperate and seek outpatient treatment.

Two things have come together that make going forward more difficult than before. Ameri is now 19 and has not finished her high school work - one class. She is now by all circumstances no longer eligible for our family insurance plan. She knows that and does not seem to care. She knows that she can always make bloody scratches on her wrists and she can be committed law enforcement to a 72 hour hold in a hospital. Of course! None of this makes sense.

There are sixteen beds available in our metropolitan area for the treatment of conditions like Ameri's. We have a pro football team, a pro baseball team and a pro hockey team. The waiting list for those 16 beds is over 300 persons.

Remember. Ameri's condition originated before birth. She had a life threatening first three months. She was handed a around and abandoned by two families before she came to us.

The story continues.

Ameri has Returned Home From the Road

Ameri has Returned Home From the Road

Ameri came home just after Thanks giving. She wanted to have Christmas somewhere other than where she was.

Nothing has changed in her disposition or attitude. She does have soft moments but for the most part she is a "jagged little pill."

"And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance"

She has found work as a dancer in pre-topless establishment. She is no real dancer. She has no rhythm or natural grace to her movements but I suppose it passes for the 21 to 34 blue collar cowboys that go there. She has brought money home and she has come home empty handed. She has called us for rides and she has walked home. She is in a constant state of anxiety and if she is not engaged in something her anxiety builds and sets her off. She has new friends. She is staying around. When she is home she is on the phone continuously setting up her next adventure. We are caught between saying no and trying to ease her through this period. When she is out all night we are unable to sleep. When she comes home at 2:00am she cooks and carries on as if she were the only one here. This has caused several arguments. The argument usually end with her leaving again in the wee hours and walking to Denny's to hang out until dawn or she hooks up. That all came to a head last week and she asked that we take her to the hospital. After an all night ordeal of making that happen, she was finally admitted after she had broken down and signed herself in voluntarily. That was a week ago. Yesterday, Thursday, she was released. We brought her home. She ordered a pizza and breadsticks, called a cab and went out. It is now Friday afternoon. She has called twice to just check in.

"Did you go to your appointment?" "No!" "Are you taking your medication" "No!" "Will you be coming home?" "I don't know." "Will you be going back to that job?" "Yes!"

That is all we know for now.

She has her cell phone on call forwarding to home, so I have been monitoring the calls. I know which to answer and which to let ring through to voice mail.

I don’t know how much longer Mom will allow this to go on.

Ameri's life is a theme that resonates through many teens and young adults. I found this.

Until . . .

Later

Welcome to Ameri's Life

Ameri is going to have her own page now. I am her biographer.